For part 1 click here.
For part 2 click here.

 

14. James Taylor

 

The things I need to say about James Taylor will work best in a numbered list.

1. I have no idea how the producers scored such a celebrity to try and win JoJo’s heart, but they really outdid themselves with this one.

2. James Taylor is looking GREAT for being 68 years old.

3. On the off chance that this is not the real James Taylor of “Fire and Rain” fame, this James Taylor is ALSO a singer-songwriter.

4. What came first… A guy wanting to be a singer-songwriter and changed his name to James Taylor… or a guy was born with the name James Taylor, and had no choice but to become a singer-songwriter? I am dying to find out. That literally better be the first question that JoJo asks James Taylor.

5. Are we all going to call him James Taylor all season, or will we eventually abbreviate it to James T, or possibly just James?

6. Scratch that. There is NO WAY we will call him just James, because no season of The Bachelor/ette is complete with at least three contestants with the same name. I am semi-obsessed with the fact that once there is only 1 contestant remaining (of the 3 that had the same name) we still call them by their first name and last initial. Ex. I am pretty sure Lauren B was the only Lauren left for like a month, and we all (INCLUDING BEN) called her Lauren B. My memory is a bit hazy, but he may have even said…… “Lauren B…. will you marry me.” I now need to go back and check because if he said that, that may be my favorite line ever on television.

7. While it is literally the stupidest question in the entire world to ask a bunch of guys, when the producers asked James Taylor what his favorite flower was, he said….. “Red Rose….. Duh.” Granted many men gave that same pathetic, awful, cheesy answer, but for some reason, it just really bothered me with James Taylor. I just never would have expected that from James Taylor. Just when you think you know someone 🙁

8. I know I may be beating a dead horse, but I just thought of something… will the priest at the wedding say “Ben H, will you take Lauren B to be your lawfully wedded wife, etc. Or will he just use Ben and Lauren?”

 

13. Grant

 

To be perfectly honest, I may have ranked Grant a little bit lower, but I am scared that he will find me and beat me up if he is not pleased with my ranking of him.

Good Lord, this dude looks scary. While I am sure he is a wonderful guy, this picture does not do him any favors. He looks like he is about to rip the camera out of the photographers hands and throw it out the window.

With that being said…. I can absolutely see JoJo falling for this guy. While he is about as opposite of Ben Higgins as one could get, that may be exactly what JoJo is looking for. I think he will be a contender. If he doesn’t get kicked out of the house for bashing someone’s face in, of course.

But, if you’re reading this Grant, good luck buddy…. I’m rooting for ya!

 

12. Peter

 

You know the old saying, “Never judge a book by its cover?” Well, who would have ever expected baby face Peter is a self-described thug?

Well, another deep question the producers asked the men in their bios was ….

What’s the most embarrassing style you’ve rocked?

Peter’s response…. “Sk8er boi. I also went through a pretty ‘thuggish’ stage.”

Two thoughts…..

1. Unless your name is Avril Lavigne, please NEVER, EVER spell “Sk8er boi” again.** Fun fact, I had NO idea how to spell Lavigne, so I googled it. And it turns out that a man named Avril Lavigne was arrested today for failing to register as a sex offender. SOOOOOOOO, I will clarify…. Unless your name is Avril Lavigne and you are a pop star with hits such as, but not limited to, “Complicated”, “The Best Damn Thing”, “My Happy Ending”, “Girlfriend”, “Keep Holding On”, “I’m With You”, “What the Hell”, and “Here’s to Never Growing Up”, then please never use the term “Sk8er Boi” ever again.http://katu.com/news/local/man-named-avril-lavigne-arrested-after-failing-to-register-as-sex-offender
2. If I had to draw a picture of the least thuggish person I could imagine, I would draw Peter.
3. Damn, I really like a lot of Avril Lavigne songs. Who knew?

Will JoJo like him? Highly doubt it. After baby face Ben H, she is ready for a real man’s man.

11. Will

 

When I first met Will 8 minutes ago on abc.com I instantly liked him. His picture looked fine enough. Seems like a totally normal guy. One of his favorite movies is Dumb & Dumber, and a widely known fact about me is that Dumb & Dumber is my second favorite movie of all time.

His go-to dance move is “Bernie-ing” when he pretends he is the dead guy (Bernie) in weekend at Bernie’s, and I think that is hysterical, and will from this point forward include it in my repertoire.

He is able to make fun of himself, he doesn’t like to talk about heavy subjects too soon….. this guy was PERFECT. Until the Final question…..

Producers: If you could be someone else for just one day, who would it be and why?

Will: Probably John Mayer because I kjshfkjahgfkjhfnkasdjbfkasdjhf ksdhfgs dhjfgcbdkshfb adskfhbasdkhfabdshfb a,sdmnfb asdhfasd

(Edited to say….. he did have some reason for choosing John Mayer I suppose, but I am pretty sure I blacked out once I saw John Mayer’s name, and vomited all over my computer.)

I hope JoJo breaks Will’s heart, and I hope it is ONLY because if he could go to dinner with anyone in the world it would be John Mayer.

….. and yes, I know what you’re thinking…. my choice would be lead singer of The Killers, Brandon Flowers. And if anyone has a problem with that, you are the worst. But, if you could please click a link as you’re exiting my page out that would be great. I get like 2 cents or something everytime someone clicks on an ad. Thanks!!!!!!

 

10. Robby

 

Maybe I am reading a bit too much into this, but does anyone else think that Robby looks like he is in a trance? Does this guy have any idea where he is, or what he is about to get himself into?

I actually can’t stop staring at his eyes and thinking that he is hypnotized. Anyway….

Robby will be the handsome dumb guy in the bunch. JoJo will keep him around to look at his swimmer’s body, but ultimately not be able to hold a conversation with him, and give him the boot.

I can not wait to actually hear him talk and see if he still has this blank stare on his face, or if this is just a really trippy picture of him.

Either way… he seems WAY too sincere and innocent to be able to hang around the Bachelor mansion for long. JoJo will dump him because “he is nice to look at, but the connection is just not there” around episode 4. And then Robby will wake up and not remember a thing.

 

9. Alex

 

Alex is a U.S. Marine, and, judging from the 7 ridiculous questions that ABC asked the guys, seems to be pretty cool. However, just about all the guys in the house are over 6 foot tall, Alex will stand out for being 6+ inches shorter than the rest of the guys. Sounds silly, but when JoJo has 26 guys there on night 1, and can’t remember any of their names, she may remember that the short guy was really sweet, or the short guy was a real jerk. The ball is in Alex’s court to make a good first impression.

 

8. Christian

 

If the game was “Who Does Ryan Want to Get a Beer With”, look no further, we have our winner. Christian looks like the happiest guy ever. Many of the dudes are smiling hard in their pics, but Christia

n’s seems like a genuine smile.

There is not one ridiculous answer in his bio, and his Momma is his best friend. Christian, if things don’t work out with you and JoJo, and you’re reading this… can you come and be my barback this summer? We really need a barback at the beach, and I am confident you would be a beaming light of sunshine, and brighten all of our days.

Anyway, I digress. No offense to JoJo, but I think Christian may actually be a bit too good for her, and I think even JoJo will realize that sooner than later.

My prediction: Christian for the next Bachelor!

Click here for part 4.