Tag Archives: Dancing With the Stars

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17 Celebrities That Need To Be On Dancing With The Stars (Part 3)

After 23 seasons of ABC’s hit reality show Dancing With the Stars, fans will likely be able to get a good idea about what the cast will look like, even before it’s revealed tomorrow on Good Morning, America.

If past seasons are any indication, there will be a washed up reality star, an Olympian, The Bachelor, a Disney Channel actor, an NFL player, a C-list celebrity that has recently been involved in a controversy, etc.

So, if the producers decided to stray away from their typical cast, and if all the celebrities that got an invite decided to participate, what would the ideal cast look like? The following is a ranking of the 17 celebrities that Dancing With the Stars desperately needs to scout out, to shake up their boring, mundane casting.

FOR PART 1 (#17-#13) CLICK HERE
FOR PART 2 (#12-#8) CLICK HERE

 

7. Emilia Clarke, Actress

(winteriscoming.net)

 

If the thought of the Mother of Dragons doing the Jitterbug doesn’t get you excited then you should probably check your pulse… or start watching Game of Thrones. 

Now that the hit HBO show is nearing the end of its run, Emilia Clarke, who plays Mother of Dragons – Queen of Meereen – Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea – Protector of the Realm – Queen of the Andals and the First Men – Breaker of Chains – The Unburnt -Widow of Khal Drogo – Daenerys Targaryen of the House of Targaryen, A.K.A. Dany, should have a bit more free time on her hands.

With Game of Thrones scheduled to end next year, ABC would be stupid not to begin talks with her ASAP to get her on the dance floor in 2018.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF SEEING HER ON DANCING WITH THE STARS: 50%

6. Greg Louganis, Olympic Gold Medalist

(yahoo.com)

 

We all know the risk a celebrity takes when joining the cast of Dancing With the Stars. From broken bones, fatigue, and ruptured tendons, to neck injuries, back injuries and people just fainting for no apparent reason. The dance floor is a dangerous place to be.

We all know that Greg Louganis, Olympic Diving Champion, can deal with pain.

(theguardian.com)

 

Unbeknownst to the world, Louganis was diagnosed with HIV just months before the 1988 Olympic Games. It was there that millions of people around the world watched in horror as he smashed his head doing a quadruple – axle – twisting triple luxe, head-shoulder-knees-toes- combo. Louganis was then shrouded in controversy by not immediately disclosing the fact that had been diagnosed with the disease, thus potentially endangering other divers.

Now 56 years old, Louganis is still in tip-top shape and uses his celebrity to advocate for the LGBT community. He would undoubtedly use his diving skills to wow the audience, and make a splash (but not like a cannonball splash, a perfectly dainty splash) in the competition.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF SEEING GREG ON DANCING WITH THE STARS: 99%

5. Ronda Rousey, UFC Fighter

(Rondarousey.net)

 

Odds are that ABC has repeatedly asked Rousey to participate on their show. After all, she is very good friends with DWTS superstars Derek Hough and Mark Ballas. I have even sat next to Ballas at one of Rousey’s Vegas fights before (not that I really remember after the 87 beers that I had, but there is photographic evidence, and probably tweets on Ballas’ Twitter account complaining about the drunk guy next to him that keeps asking him if Edyta Śliwińska is as hot in real life as she in on TV.) Additionally, the show just had her rival Paige Vanzant on last season, the odds are, they settled for her.

But now that Rousey’s fighting career is nearing its end, it is very likely that the UFC legend will in the ballroom and show the world her softer side before you can say “greatest female fighter of all time and most dangerous ballerina alive.”

REALISTIC CHANCE OF SEEING RHONDA ON DANCING WITH THE STARS: 95%

 

4. Macaulay Culkin, Actor

(eonline.com)

 

Macaulay Culkin has had quite a tumultuous ride after he shot to child actor superstardom after the 1990 Christmas classic, Home Alone.

For whatever reason, Culkin has been the subject of multiple internet rumors over the years, ranging from his drug abuse and heroin addiction to even his death. Dancing With the Stars would be just the platform that he could use to show the world that he is alive and well. That is, of course, if he is alive and well. Who the hell knows… just yesterday I heard that he voluntarily cryogenically froze his body so he could be brought back to life in 2090 to reprise his role in Home Alone 30. And I’m fairly certain it is not a rumor.

Anyway, the world still desperately wants to talk about Macaulay Culkin, so in the words of the great Bonnie Raitt, “let’s give ’em something to talk about,” Macaulay.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF SEEING MACAULAY ON DANCING WITH THE STARS: 75%

3. “Baby Jessica” – Well Survivor

(cbsnews.com)

 

The 1980’s was responsible for some pretty horrific events. John Lennon was assassinated, Mt. St. Helens erupted, The Challenger exploded, the AIDS epidemic swept the nation, the Tiananmen Square massacre, and Chernobyl did whatever the hell Chernobyl did. But, other than the evening that Michael Jackson’s hair caught fire while filming a Pepsi commercial, and getting over the fact that Milli Vanilli wasn’t actually Milli Vanilli, nothing was more traumatic than Baby Jessica falling down a well the size of a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

The world was infatuated with Baby Jessica, and the world deserves an update on the infant that we spent so many nights being captivated by. You had the world at your fingertips in 1987 Baby Jessica, lets see if you can keep those fingertips pointed perfectly while doing the Viennese Waltz with Val Chmerkovskiy.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF SEEING BABY J ON DANCING WITH THE STARS: 30%

 

2. George W. Bush, Former President

(totalfratmove.com)

 

Whether you loved the guy or hated him as a politician, there is no denying that George W Bush is quite a charismatic guy that would be highly entertaining on Dancing With the Stars. The internet could not get enough of him trying to put on his poncho at the President Trump inauguration, and Bush could use his poncho momentum to pull in some swing votes in the Dancing With the Stars competition. I never knew how badly I needed to see George W Bush and Karina Smirnoff do a Tango to “Singing in the Rain,” while partially wearing a plastic poncho with the Presidential Seal on it, until now.

(avclub.com)

 

And we already know that former President Bush is not afraid to get jiggy with it in front of an audience.

(telegraph.co.uk)

 

(buzzfeed.com)

 

ABC, if you don’t cast Bush on Dancing With the Stars, can you at least follow him around for his own reality show? This guy is TV gold.

INSERT MIRROR BALL TROPHY HERE (ibtimes.co.uk)

 

REALISTIC CHANCE OF SEEING GWB ON DANCING WITH THE STARS: 5%

 

1. Courtney Love, Rock Star

(usweekly.com)

 

If you had to make a list of 5 celebrities that you would like to see prance around the ballroom doing the Waltz and Courtney Love is not on that list, than y

ou clearly do not know who Courtney Love is.

Widow to the late grunge rock icon, Kurt Cobain, Courtney Love’s appearance on Dancing With the Stars would be the most shocking to date.

Do the censors dare having such a loose cannon on live TV on ABC? Doubtful. But if they do, Courtney Love would take Dancing With the Stars to a whole new level. You thought a shirtless Len Goodman was scary? Wait until you see Courtney Love start losing her temper over continuously forgetting her routine in rehearsals for her jive performance to the song “Rock Around the Clock.”

REALISTIC CHANCE OF SEEING LOVE ON DANCING WITH THE STARS: 55%

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17 Celebrities That Need To Be On Dancing With The Stars (Part 2)

After 23 seasons of ABC’s hit reality show Dancing With the Stars, fans will likely be able to get a good idea about what the cast will look like, even before it’s revealed tomorrow on Good Morning, America.

If past seasons are any indication, there will be a washed up reality star, an Olympian, The Bachelor, a Disney Channel actor, an NFL player, a C-list celebrity that has recently been involved in a controversy, etc.

So, if the producers decided to stray away from their typical cast, and if all the celebrities that got an invite decided to participate, what would the ideal cast look like? The following is a ranking of the 17 celebrities that Dancing With the Stars desperately needs to scout out, to shake up their boring, mundane casting.

FOR PART 1 (#17-#13) CLICK HERE

 

12. Alanis Morissette, Singer

(popmatters.com)

 

You oughta know that I’m here, to remind you, of the mess Alanis has left since she went away. It’s not fair.

It’s been nearly 22 years since Canadian rocker Alanis Morissette released her international debut album, Jagged Little Pill, which has since become one of the best selling albums of all time, and one of only three albums that have sold more than 15 million copies since 1991, the year in which Nielsen Music began tracking data.

Dancing With the Stars may be just want Morissette needs to catapult her back into the spotlight and write and produce another album that rivals Pill, arguably the greatest female rock album of all time.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF ALANIS AGREEING TO DWTS: 65%

 

11. Eric Nies, Reality TV Star/Former Model

(alchetron.com)

 

If producers insist on casting a reality star, who better to cast than the grandaddy of Reality TV, the original Real World’s, Eric Nies. Not only was Nies the star of the reality show that launched an entire genre, but he also was the host of the critically acclaimed MTV dance music show, The Grind.

Having somehow never won an Emmy for his work on The Grind, competing on Dancing With the Stars could be the only way for the world to validate and thank Nies for everything he has done for reality TV and semi-erotic hip hop dance aerobics.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF ERIC AGREEING TO DWTS: 99%

 

10. Mama June, Reality TV Star

(etonline.com)

 

Granted, I know virtually nothing about Mama June from the “hit” TLC show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, except for the fact that she has recently become the talk of the town after allegedly losing a tremendous amount of weight, the likes of which many are calling the most amazing transformation in television history.

What better way for Mama June to show off her new body (I can’t believe I just typed that) than to strut her stuff on the dance floor?

REALISTIC CHANCE OF MAMA JUNE AGREEING TO DWTS: 99%

 

9. Malia Obama, Daughter of Barack Obama

(businessinsider.com)

 

Rumor has it that Michelle Obama has been offered one of the coveted spots on Dancing With the Stars, and graciously refused the offer. Shocker.

Why not then, invite the former first daughter, Malia? Sure, she is in college, and just got an internship, but all those wonderful things would still be there for her after she twerks her way to the coveted Mirror Ball trophy, should she decide to compete on the show.

Granted, Malia has just recently been able to step out of the spotlight and twerk with a little more privacy for the first time in her young adult life. So it is very doubtful that she would choose to be thrown back into the media’s ray of vision so soon after she has been granted some, relatively speaking, freedom.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF MAMA JUNE AGREEING TO DWTS: 10%

 

8. Owen Suskind, Writer/Autism Awareness Advocate

(ew.com)

 

It seems as though each season Dancing With the Stars casts a relatively unknown, yet heroic figure that, more often than not, has some sort of a disability.

So why not give Owen Suskind, the star of the Oscar nominated documentary, Life, Animated his time to shine.

After being diagnosed with severe autism at the age of three, Owen overcame the odds by using Disney animated classics to communicate with his family. Owen has since went on to become a highly functioning adult that has his own place, maintains a job, and is able to communicate and express his emotions freely.

Life, Animated is a must-watch documentary for all ages. And ABC and Dancing With the Stars should consider themselves honored to have such an inspirational, courageous young man join their cast.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF OWEN AGREEING TO DWTS: 50%

 

Continue to Part 3…

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17 Celebrities That Need to Be On Dancing With The Stars

After 24 seasons of ABC’s hit reality show Dancing With the Stars, fans will likely be able to get a good idea about what the cast will look like, even before it’s revealed Wednesday on Good Morning, America.

If past seasons are any indication, there will be a washed up reality star, an Olympian, The Bachelor, a Disney Channel actor, an NFL player, a C-list celebrity that has recently been involved in a controversy, etc.

So, if the producers decided to stray away from their typical cast, and if all the celebrities that got an invite decided to participate, what would the ideal cast look like? The following is a ranking of the 17 celebrities that Dancing With the Stars desperately needs to scout out, to shake up their boring, mundane casting.

17. Tom Bergeron (Host of Dancing With the Stars)

(tvguide.com)

 

Drew Lachey isn’t busy, is he? Good…because that opens the door for comedian and Dancing With the Stars host, Tom Bergeron to take the center stage. The bold move of having a host compete on the very show that they work on would be historic, and hopefully start a trend. Who doesn’t want to see Carson Daly give his best attempt at signing an acoustic version of “Bridge Over Troubled Water?” Or Jeff Probst balancing three eggs on a toothpick while standing on one leg on a rotating log, in the middle of the South China Sea.

And don’t let the guy fool you, he is in pretty decent shape for being in his mid 50’s. Pair him up with Cheryl Burke and he could go from host to champion, easy as pie.

(haverhillfever.com)

 

I love Tom Bergeron and all, but I pray to God that is the last time I ever have to Google search “Tom Bergeron Shirtless”. The things I do for accurate “REAL” journalism.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HIM EVER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS: 5%

16. Faye Dunaway, Actress

(extratv.com)

 

Now that the world knows how impatient Faye Dunaway is, and how she doesn’t really give a shit about anything, even about screwing up the biggest moment of the biggest night in Hollywood, and the biggest moment in some people’s lives, we desperately need more of her in our lives.

As we saw on the most recent Academy Awards, Dunaway ripped the card out of Warren Beatty’s hands and nonchalantly yelled “La La Land”  before quickly exiting to side stage and letting her man, Warren take the blame for the blunder.

Imagine how many times she would flip out during rehearsals and run out of the room. She would let out at least three F bombs on live TV during the season, and wouldn’t bat an eyelash. She needs to be on live TV. Every. Single. Night.

Pair her with Maxsim Chmerkovskiy and let the fireworks being.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS – 90%

 

15. Jack Gleeson, Actor, A.K.A. Joffrey from Game of Thrones

(Speeli.com)

How amazing would it be to have Joffrey on Dancing With the Stars. The actor, Jack Gleeson has apparently quit acting after being killed off the HBO series, Game of Thrones, and who can blame him. He very quickly became one of the most hated television characters of all time, and I am sure that there are plenty of hard-core Game of Thrones fans out there that can not separate actors from the characters they play on TV, just like they have a hard time separating real life from fantasy. This guy’s life must have been ruined from playing such a shit-head on TV.

Give the kid a break and let him show the world he is just a normal guy, and not the worst human being to ever step foot on the planet. Plus, who doesn’t want to see Joffrey do the Fox Trot?

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS – 10%

14. Yoko Ono, Singer and Peace Activist

(eonline.com)

 

The fact that Yoko Ono has not yet been on DWTS must mean only one thing…. she was offered and refused. The question is, why?

She loves to dance….

(huffingtonpost.com)

 

She loves to dress in costumes….

(vulture.com)

 

…… and we all know she certainly isn’t afraid of having a nip slip here or there.

(spectator.com)

 

ABC, I don’t care who you have to kill, get this woman on my TV screen. Right. Now!

(mashable.com)

 

On second thought. Please do not kill anybody, ABC. Then Yoko would NEVER join the cast.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS – 50%

13. Elian Gonzalez, A Cuban

(abcnews.go.com)

With all the immigration controversy happening in our country these days, what better time than to catch up on our old friend Elian. All Elian wanted to do was be like Miley Cyrus and have a little party in the USA. Instead he got a machine gun pointed to his face while he was hiding with his father in the closet by a man who for some reason looks almost equally as terrified as Elian.

What better way to unite our country and tell the world that we are sorry for being such dicks, than to invite the poster child of immigration onto one of our most beloved and cherished reality TV shows and have him put on tights and perform the Paso Doble for us. But only for a few weeks until we realize that Elian must have missed some crucial Cuban dance lessons as a child, because being Cuban and all, he should be way better at dancing.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS – 40%

Continue…..