For a list of guys 26-21 click here.
20. Coley
(photo credit: abc.com)
Coley seems like the most average guy in the bunch. He is wearing a normal clothes, has average facial hair, is photogenic, but not distractingly handsome, and most importantly, is not wearing a rolled up bandana-tie around his neck. All of this is fantastic for Coley. In the real world.
However, on The Bachelorette, Coley will not stand out enough to gain JoJo’s attention, and as a result, will be an early casualty.
On a side note: I do not think I have ever seen anyone smile that hard in my life. Good for him.
19. Jake
This image was snapped immediately after Jake told a joke, and realized that nobody was going to laugh at it. (photo credit: abc.com)
There are 2 reasons why Jake will never win The Bachelorette. Well, 3 reasons, but I will leave the third reason up to your imagination.
- When asked what his favorite movies were, his response was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3. That is like saying Scream 9 is my favorite horror movie of all time. Except worse.
- When asked where he sees himself in 5 years, his response was “married to the Bachelorette and with their first child.” Not JoJo, “the bachelorette. Whoever that may be, he doesn’t care. All he knows is that he wants to be married to her in 5 years, and have her child. That is like saying, “I’m going to the mall tonight and all I know is that in 5 years, I want to be married and have a baby with whoever is at the checkout counter at H&M.”
18. Ali
Prince Ali-Ababba (photo credit: abc.com)
I am pretty sure that the producers created Ali in some sort of computer animation lab that turns cartoon characters into real life humans, as Ali is some sort of odd hybrid between Disney’s Aladdin and Sesame Street’s The Count.
(photo credit:
ohmy.disney.com)
(photo credit: muppet.wikia.com)
All that aside, Ali seems like a genuinely nice guy that any girl would be lucky to have. However, he seems like the farthest thing from JoJo’s type as humanly possible. Hopefully being a nice guy will at least allow him to stick around for a few weeks, and have a nice vacation hanging out with some new bros.
17. James F
Is it just me, or does James F’s shirt look like 4 sizes too big for him? He is swimming in a sea of red plaid. (photo credit: abc.com)
The most interesting bio bit on James F’s contestant page is the fact that he has three tattoos. ALL OF WHICH HE WANTS TO GET COVERED UP. So….. this guy either makes completely irrational, spur of the moment decisions, or he has no idea what he wants to do with his body or his life. I get regretting one tattoo and wanting it covered up. Maybe two. Or possibly even three if you have your entire body covered in ink. But, having ONLY 3 tattoos and regretting them ALL, is just a red flag for me.
James F is also a boxing club owner, so I am expecting him to not back down from a fight. I am predicting some sort of altercation with James F and another Bachelor this summer when he returns for Bachelor Pad or whatever the hell they call that show now.
16. James S
Bachelor Superfan, James S (photo credit: abc.com)
The main reason I enjoy The Bachelor/ette is because I am addicted to elimination shows and I draft teams with friends and compete for cash. (No, I don’t IRS, I am just kidding.) I do not discriminate when it comes to drafting my Reality TV teams, and do not limit myself to shows that “men” should be watching. Sure, I draft teams for “manly shows” like Ink Master, The Ultimate Fighter, and Top Shot, but I also draft teams, and watch shows that are a bit more embarrassing, such as Project Runway, Face Off, and Dancing With the Stars.
With that being said, James S identifies himself as a Bachelor SUPERFAN. Not only is that a bit strange, but it leads me to believe that he is not on the show to find love, but to experience what it is like to be on The Bachelorette.
Once JoJo catches wind that James S is a SUPERFAN, she will laugh in his face, and show him the door. I predict that James S will cry harder than any contestant in the history of The Bachelorette when he gets eliminated on night one.
Finally, I typically do not like to talk negatively about people’s appearances, but I am pretty sure his face is made of plastic.
15. Vinny
Who is this
I know, I know, I know, I JUST got done saying that I don’t like to make fun of people’s appearances, but the VERY FIRST thing I said when I saw Vinny was “yikes, look at his hair.” And then the first thing I read about him was that he is A BARBER!
I am not kidding you people. I can’t make this shit up.
To be honest, I stopped there with Vinny’s bio, because I was in such shock. Feel free to read his bio and learn about him yourselves.
For part 3 click here.