Category Archives: Music

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Ranking All 11 Killers’ Christmas Songs

Now that Thanksgiving is over, the Christmas season is in full swing. Christmas trees haphazardly strapped to the top cars, black Friday stampedes at WalMart, and creating lists of excuses for why you can’t attend a Christmas party that you don’t want to go to, are all staples of the holiday season. But nothing says Christmas is right around the corner like the release of the annual Killers’ Christmas song.

Beginning in 2006, and every year since, The Killers have donated 100% of their proceeds from their Christmas song to Product (RED), which raises awareness and funds to eliminate HIV/AIDS in Africa.

From silly songs about a deranged Santa and personified lumps of coal, to tear-jerking songs about war and being away from your family and friends during the holidays, Brandon Flowers and The Killers have solidified themselves as the leaders of modern-day Christmas rock music.

And this year, which has been widely rumored to be their last year releasing a Christmas single, they have decided to package all 11 songs into an album fittingly titled Don’t Waste Your Wishes. An apropos title, considering the only wish I have for Christmas next year is that The Killers decide to continue their holiday tradition and give us more Christmas joy.

Though The Killers can do no wrong in my eyes. and each song is special in its own right, below is a ranking of all 11 of their Christmas songs.

Don’t Waste Your Wishes: From Worst To Best

 

11. “I Can Feel It In My Bones” (featuring Ryan Pardey) 2012

A story about making it on to Santa’s “naughty list”, “I Feel It In My Bones” is a sequel to the wildly popular 2007 Killers’ Christmas classic, “Don’t Shoot Me Santa.” The video shows Flowers and fellow band members Ronnie Vannucci, Dave Keuning, and Mark Stoemer having nightmares in bed, just like a child may, the night before Christmas while wondering if they would be on Santa’s naughty or nice list.

“Maybe I was naughty once, but now I’m nice” pleads Flowers as he tries to prove his case for why Santa should reconsider his decision to permanently keep the boys on the naughty list.

“I Feel It In My Bones” is almost certainly the least catchy and radio friendly of all their Christmas songs, but is a terrifying reminder of how thankful I am that The Killers were not formed in the 1980’s, as this is probably what the majority of their music would have sounded like.

 

10. Happy Birthday Guadalupe! (2009)

Brandon Flowers started writing “Happy Birthday Guadalupe!” on an airplane and is said to be influenced by the recession and bad times for the country back in 2009, saying “its sort of about throwing all that out the window during Christmas time” as heard in the lyrics below.

“We are livin’ in a difficult time
We’ve been walkin’ down a difficult line
Put your feet up baby, it’s Christmas time
Cumpleaños feliz
Happy Birthday Guadalupe”

The video, however, portrays the story of a man (Luke Perry) searching for his long-lost love. No, he was not searching the Peach Pit or West Beverly Hills High for Brenda Walsh or Kelly Taylor, he was searching the desert for Guadalupe.

 

9. Joseph, Better You Than Me (featuring Elton John and Neil Tennant) 2008

In 2008, The Killers decided to ditch Santa, and get back to the original reason for the holiday, the birth of Jesus. “Joseph, Better You Than Me” is about the difficulties that Joseph must have endured from being the father of Jesus, and all the responsibilities that were dropped in Joseph’s lap.

Unable to get a cameo by Joseph, himself, The Killers managed to get the next best thing for their Christmas song this year; Sir Elton John.

 

8. “Christmas in LA” (featuring Dawes) 2013

“Christmas in LA” tells the tale of a struggling actor that has spent one too many Christmas seasons away from his hometown and in the hustle and bustle of Los Angeles.

It’s easy to feel sympathy for the songs lonely actor (played by Owen Wilson in the video) because Flowers effortlessly portrays how un-Christmas-like, LA in December can be, especially for a struggling, lonely actor.

So, this Christmas, when your relatives are judging you for drinking too much eggnog, and a fight is about to ensue, just remember that there are poor, lonely models and actors in LA that are jealous you get to spend the holidays with your loved ones, regardless of how annoying they may be.

 

7. “Dirt Sledding” (2015)

Last  years Christmas single, “Dirt Sledding” was the third and final chapter in the Killer’s Santa trilogy (the other two being “Don’t Shoot Me Santa (2007), and “I Feel It In My Bones” (2012).

Flowers and the boys finally have their happy ending, when they trick Santa into befriending them by disguising as the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Jack-O-Lantern and Thanksgiving Turkey.

It may have taken ten years, but “Dirt Sledding” is a perfect ending to the story of how the guys in The Killers have made the jump from the naughty list to the nice list, and back on Santa’s good side.

 

6. “Great Big Sled” (2006)

In a 2006 interview with NME.com, Brandon Flowers said of their first Christmas song…

“Sometime you forget. You get so caught up in business and being an adult that you forget to have fun and enjoy things and be nice to people.”

He is referring to the fact that the band created and recorded the song to donate to the Product (RED) charity. Having no way of seeing into the future, he did not know that over 10 years later, the band would still be creating instant Christmastime staples.

“A Great Big Sled” is one of The Killers’ most playful and jovial songs to date. The video features 1970’s-style “homemade video” footage of the boys’ in various holiday celebratory playfulness, which is quite fitting, as it feels like it was ages ago that “A Great Big Sled” was released.

 

5. “Cowboys’ Christmas Ball” (2011)

Far and away their most energetic Christmas single, “The Cowboys’ Christmas Ball” could hold its own on any “Best Christmas Songs to Dance to” countdown. Using the lyrics from a 1890 poem (of the same name) by William Lawrence Chittenden, The Killers transformed a 120 year old “song” and made it into something that could be played on nearly any radio station today.

The video takes place at a Cowboy Christmas Ball that gets attacked by nasty outsiders. However, a poor man’s C3PO and Zingbot from Big Brother, show up to save the day, and more importantly, the Christmas ball.

CP3O's cousin, and Big Brother's Zingbot save the day in 2010's Cowboys' Christmas Ball

CP3O’s cousin, and Big Brother’s Zingbot save the day in 2011’s Cowboys’ Christmas Ball

 

 

4. “Joel, the Lump of Coal” (2014)

https://youtu.be/DikMxTInkPs

For their 2014 Christmas single, The Killers enlisted the help of late night host, Jimmy Kimmel to come up with the story of everyone’s favorite lump of coal, Joel, who is unaware that he is not a gift that any child wants.

“Joel, the Lump of Coal” follows Joel’s journey from Santa’s Village to his arrival at one naughty child’s house on Christmas morning. And while the song may be silly and playful, it also sends a message of hope, as the little boy who receives Joel, makes the best with what he has been given, and ends up learning a valuable lesson once Joel decides to sacrifice his life for the boy.

Joel, the lump of coal, is the modern rock version of Rudolph, the Rednosed Reindeer, and is a great reminder for people of all ages, that if life hands you a glass of virgin eggnog, you can always add rum to it when nobody is looking, to make it amazing.

 

3. “Boots” (2010)

One of the most sentimental Killers’ Christmas songs, “Boots”, is known to be Brandon Flowers’ favorite of all their holiday songs. It is about remembering back to the most pleasant Christmas’ of your childhood and using those memories to help you through more trying times. It is additionally heart-wrenching due to the fact that Flowers lost his mother to cancer a few years back.

“I close my eyes,
Think about the path I took.
Just when I think these times,
Have gotten the best of me.

I can see my mother in the kitchen.
My father on the floor,
Watching television.
It’s a wonderful life.

Cinnamon candles burning.
Snowball fights outside.
Smile below each nose and above each chin.

Stomp my boots before I go back in.”

The video, which features an extra dapper Flowers looking like he stepped straight out of a GQ ad, begins with a clip of the Christmas classic It’s a Wonderful Life. The fact that the combination of The Killers and It’s a Wonderful Life didn’t make my head explode is a Christmas miracle in itself.

 

 

2. “Don’t Shoot Me Santa” (2007)

The second annual Killers’ Christmas song is now known as the first in a trilogy of songs about Santa. In “Don’t Shoot Me Santa,” the boys encounter Santa after he kidnaps Brandon and plans on shooting him for being an extra naughty boy. Brandon pleads with Santa and begs his forgiveness, saying…

“Hey, Santa Clause
No one else around believes me
But the children on the block they tease me
I couldn’t let them off that easy

They had it coming, so, why can’t you see
I couldn’t turn my check no longer
The sun is going down and Christmas is near
Just look the other way and I’ll disappear forever.”

In the end, Brandon escapes with the help of his band mates, which opens the door for the sequel song, “I Feel It In My Bones.” “Don’t Shoot Me Santa ” is old school Killers at its best, and has become a quintessential track on any holiday rock music playlist.

 

1. “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” (2016)

Heavily rumored to be their final Christmas single, “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” is mind-bogglingly beautiful, and will turn even the biggest holiday Grinch’s heart warm.

The track, released last week, begins with an over 3 minute long story of Brandon’s childhood and his family’s move from Henderson, NV to Utah, where he experiences his very first white Christmas.

The story then leads to where his love of music began, and a very special music teacher that introduced him to the track “I’ll Be Home For Christmas.” The song, about being at war and writing a letter home to your family telling them that you would be home for Christmas, even though there is a solid chance you wouldn’t be home, is quite possibly the most devastatingly beautiful Christmas song ever written.

The special guest (I won’t spoil the surprise) that The Killers have with them on what could be their final Christmas

song, makes this not only their best, but also their most important holiday single to date.

 

If indeed, The Killers are done with their Product (RED) charity songs, the Christmas journey they sent us on over the past eleven years will go down as one of, if not the most comprehensive, diverse, and satisfying rock Christmas albums of all time.

 

Click here for more information on Don’t Waste Your Wishes

Click here for more information on PRODUCT (RED)

 

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7 Songs You Need to Hear Right Now (June 15 2016)

In what is clearly the most eclectic 7 songs to have ever been compiled on Ryan’s Countdown’s “Songs You Need to Hear Right Now”, the following seven songs will satisfy music fans of all genres. The countdown represents a remarkable 7 different genres; Alt Rock, Folk Rock, Electronic, Pop Punk, Indie Pop, Country, and Metal.

I know what you’re thinking…… I hate “Metal”, or “I despise country music.” Or maybe even, “what the hell is Electronic and Indie Pop.” But, all I can say is that if you “hate” metal, the metal song on the countdown could quite possibly be your favorite metal song of all time. Same goes with electronic, country, etc.

Point being, it would be very difficult to DISLIKE any one of these songs, even if you are strongly opposed to the musical genre to which they belong. Think of them all as a gateway drug to broadening your musical horizons.

 

7. Cassidy, Brett Dennen (Folk Pop)

Just in time for lounging around the pool on a hot summer day, Brett Dennen released his sixth studio album, Por Favor just last month. “Cassidy”, is the classic easy listening, laid back track that Brett Dennen is known for.

Unfortunately we are not able to spend all day, every day laying by the pool and sipping on Piña Coladas, but thankfully Brett Dennen is around to help us get through the shitty life moments when we are not doing such. “Cassidy” is the musical equivalent of day drinking on a blow up raft in the warm summer sun and without a care in the world. The way life should be.

 

6. Happy Pills, Weathers (Alt Rock)

Quite possibly the happiest song about being sad since Third Eye Blind’s “Semi-Charmed Life”, the jolly track about ones decent into crystal meth addiction, “Happy Pills” will almost certainly brighten up your most dreary, depressing days. Weathers, the young rock quartet from LA perfectly summarizes the continuously rising trend of taking “happy pills” to deal with your problems.

Not only will you find yourself singing along to the catchy chorus…

“I take my pills and I’m happy all the time, I’m happy all the time, I’m happy all the time…”

But you will also find it impossible to not sing along with the “LA LA LA LA LA LA’s” even more enthusiastically than the Smurfs do after yet another victorious encounter with their rival Gargamel.

 

5. Sing Me To Sleep, Alan Walker (Electronic)

Norwegian electronic dance producer, Alan Walker, is just 18 years old and already has proven he is a force to be reckoned with in the genre. His latest track, “Sing Me to Sleep”, features Iselin Solheim, a Norwegian singer-songwriter who is also just 18 years old.

Solheim’s soothing vocals and Walker’s catchy, up tempo beat, blend beautifully together to create a radio friendly, electronic dance track that even non EDM fans can get behind.

 

4. What the Hell Did I Say, Dierks Bentley (Country)

The all too relatable, “What the Hell Did I Say”, is Dierks Bentley’s second video in his 4-part series about a pair of secret lovers. After Bentley’s 2014 super hit, “Drunk On a Plane”, he became one of the biggest names in country music due to the fact that the song resonated to fans of all genres, because, you know, who doesn’t like to get drunk on a plane?

What could possibly be a follow up to the lovable, drunk plane passenger’s journey, “What the Hell Did I Say”, tells a story about drunk dialing, and the regrets one may feel upon waking up in the morning after a night of heavy drinking.

Just a much a pop-rock song as it is a country song, Bentley has a knack releasing tracks that are catchy as hell, and make you forget the fact that you have claimed that you have hated country music since you were an adolescent.

 

3. Rabbit Hole, Blink 182

Blink 182’s second album in the last 13 years is just weeks away from being available to the public, and from the two tracks that have already been released, it seems as though the album will not disappoint longtime fans.

“Rabbit Hole”, the second track from the bands upcoming album, California is everything one would have expected 2016 Blink 182 to sound like if you imagined their future sound back in 1999. Swap out lyrics about sex, nudity, drinking, and poo, and replace them with more adult issues, such as learning from your mistakes, and relationship woes, and Blink 182 is still the same band they were back in their heyday.

While the band may have lost guitarist, Tom DeLong, his replacement, Alkaline Trio’s Matt Skiba doesn’t miss a beat, and is a welcome addition to modern day Blink. It may be too early to tell, but California certainly has the potential to put Blink 182 back in the spotlight and prove all the naysayers wrong that thought 182’s days were numbered.
2. Let It Burn, Volbert (Metal)

If you’re like most people, simply the thought of metal music scares the hell out of you. And a Danish, Heavy Metal band… forget it, that is the stuff that nightmares are made of.

But fear not, Volbeat is here to take everything you thought you knew about metal music, and drop it on its head. “Let It Burn”, the new track off the bands sixth studio album, Seal the Deal & Let’s Boogie is a metal track that even your grandmother could rock out to. The catchy vocal melody, and inspiring lyrics, coupled with a killer guitar solo, combine to deliver what may very well be your favorite “metal” song since “Mama, I’m Coming Home”, you know, the only other “metal song” you have ever liked in your life.

 

1. Roll Up, Fitz and the Tantrums (Indie Rock)

https://youtu.be/czyZcagQo84

Fitz and the Tantrums burst onto the scene in 2010 with their debut studio album, Pickin’ Up the Pieces, and I am convinced that they have not taken a day off since. Not only have they released two additional incredible albums, but each track they release continues to be better than the previous one.

“Roll Up” is arguably Fitz’s best effort to date, and has enough energy “rolled up” into three minutes and thirty eight seconds to get even the most miserable buzz kill you know to start tapping his feet and pumping his fists.

 

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Top 40 Greatest American Idol Performances Of All Time

I would be remiss if I did not release a countdown honoring 15 years of televised rock and roll performances on one of the biggest shows of my generation, American Idol. Before tonights series finale, I decided to follow up on yesterday’s ranking of all 14 coronation songs, and do my best to countdown my top 40 favorite Idol performances over the span of the series. Granted, these may not be considered “the best”, but they are as close to my top 40 as humanly possible. No write-ups are necessary, just the cold, hard facts, and a link to the performances. You be the judge and tell me how much of an awful person I am for not including 7 David Archuleta songs, or the entire Melinda Doolittle Idol catalogue. Or tell me I am an idiot for having such an obsession with “And I Am Telling You”, and “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” But, considering Ryan Seacrest is signing off for the final time tonight, I think it would be more fitting, if we just all just get along, and get through this night together.

Without further adieu, my Top 40 American Idol performances of all time.

*** Note, coronation songs are not included, as they were part of yesterday’s countdown.

40. “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” – James Durbin (Season 10)

39. “The Story” – Lacey Brown (Season 9)

38. “It’s All Wrong, But It’s All Right” – Michael Johns (Season 7)

https://youtu.be/DuEPrrfsxtE

*Johns became the first Idol finalist to pass away a few years ago. RIP MJ. You were the man.

37. “Circle of Life” – Jennifer Hudson (Season 3)

https://youtu.be/erbr3L2NRo4

36. “Wanted (Dead or Alive)” – Chris Daughtry (Season 5)

35. “Can’t Help Falling In Love” – Jena Irene

 

34. “The Trouble With Love Is” – Clark Beckham (Season 14)

33. “When You Tell Me That You Love Me” – Vonzell Soloman (Season 4)

*Not exactly sure why I love this so much, but I do, and I am not ashamed.

32. “Maybe I’m Amazed” – Caleb Johnson (Season 13)

31. “I Believe” – Joshua Ledet (Season 11)

30. “Eleanor Rigby” – David Cook (Season 7)

29. “You Give Love a Bad Name” – Blake Lewis (Season 6)

28. “The Boxer” – Lee Dewyze (Season 9)

https://youtu.be/Z3gOJTpHcsw?t=1m52s

27. “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” – Jason Castro (Season 7)

26. “Bright Lights” – Nick Fradiani (Season 14)

https://youtu.be/Etwz8j7bTU4

25. “Fat Bottomed Girls” – Phillip Phillips (Season 11)

24. “Man in the Mirror” – Kris Allen

23. “Think” – Katherine McPhee (Season 5)

22. “Imagine” David Archuleta (Season 7)

21. “Paint It Black” – Siobhan Magnus (Season 9)

https://youtu.be/NXOXEYk7nxo

20. “Bridge Over Troubled Water” – Jacob Lusk (Season 10)

 

19. “That’s All” – Phillip Phillips (Season 11)

18. “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me” – Nadia Turner (Season 4)

https://youtu.be/cLzCWfzzIXM

17. “Tracks of My Tears” – Adam Lambert (Season 8)

 

16. “Bohemian Rhapsody” – Constantine Maroulis (Season 4)

15. “You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman)” – Kelly Clarkson (Season 1)

 

14. “Remedy” – Bo Bice (Season 4)

13. “So Small” – Matt Giraud (Season 8)

 

12. “Independence Day” – Carrie Underwood (Season 4)

 

11. “Me and Bobby McGee” – Crystal Bowersox (Season 9)

10. “House of the Rising Sun” – Haley Reinhart (Season 10)

 

9. “One Rock and Roll Too Many” – Syesha Mercado (Season 7)

*Sexiest Idol performance ever??

 

8. “Moving Out” – Phillip Phillips (Season 11)

 

7. “Bridge Over Troubled Water” – Clay Aiken (Season 2)

 

6. “And I Am Telling You” – Jessica Sanchez (Season 11)

https://youtu.be/NU1UByQHBQ4

and then there was this…….

HO.LY. SHIT!

 

5. “Always Be My Baby” – David Cook (Season 7)

 

4. “You Found Me” – Matt Giraud (Season 8)

 

3. “Alone” – Carrie Underwood (Season 4)

 

2. “Hallelujah” – Lee Dewyze

1. “This Ain’t A Love Song” – LaKisha Jones (Season 6)

https://youtu.be/f_NMuJTdyJk

“I have heard of Bon Jovi and I have seen him on Oprah.”

Yes LaKisha Jones said that, and yes, I am sure this is my favorite Idol performance of all time. And no, I do not have a fever.

 

What performance did I miss? What is your favorite? Let me know in the comments below.