Author Archives: Ryan Jacobson

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Ranking the 14 New Big Brother Canada Houseguests

The best thing to happen to Canada since Tim Hortons is back, and this time Big Brother Canada is going international. For its fourth season, Big Brother has decided to open his doors to former contestants from Big Brother USA, Big Brother UK, Big Brother Italy, and Big Brother Australia. While some viewers may be a bit puzzled by the producer’s choices, only two of the international Big Brother celebrities will be allowed to enter the house (although I would not be surprised if the first “Twisto’s Twist” allows the other two “celebrities” to enter.)

I will hold off on my predictions of the four international houseguests, and wait to see how the vote plays out before I included them in the rankings. As for the 14 new houseguests, below is a ranking of the likelihood of each of them winning Big Brother 4 based solely on a 90 second interview with producers, and their brief bio on the Golbal TV website.

14. Raul

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Raul seems like he will be a loose cannon in the BB house. He admits that he is likely to bring the sass, which is NEVER a good thing in the BB house (unless you are Rachel Reilly, I suppose.) His drama is sure to cause some unnecessary fights in the house. His housemates (even the ones he may be aligned with) will begin to see that he is too much of a liability, and throw him under the bus way before the jury begins.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: PRE JURY

13. Cassandra

(photo credit: http://bigbrothercanada.globaltv.com/houseguests)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

First off, Cassandra is going to make for some amazing television. She is fun, outgoing, dramatic, and not afraid to be criticized for who she is. That being said, she wants to play the game as if she is not familiar with the show. In one interview she said “I’m going to be like, what is a veto ceremony?”
I see this backfiring on her, as her houseguests that are Superfans will think she is just there for the cameras, and not appreciate her lack of “BB knowledge.”

If she is not careful, Cassandra may find herself talking to Arisa on Thursday night, wishing she had not acted so naive about the game that her housemates have been waiting many years to play.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: PRE JURY. However, if she somehow makes the jury, she will likely be dragged to the end, and get slaughtered in the finals.

12. Maddy

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Based solely on first impressions, Maddy seems to be the least likable of the three young, blonde girls. When asked why she thinks she was chosen to be on the show, her response was “duh…. because I am awesome.”

If Maddy is not careful, her confidence will come across as arrogance, and she will find herself in the middle of a lot of the female drama this season.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: First Evicted

11. Joel

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

In a house full of “bros,” Joel will find himself in the famous BB role of “odd man out.” Despite all of the guys seeming genuinely polite and accepting, Joel will find himself “bro-less.” In addition to this, the house is also full of young girls that will likely be annoyed by Joel’s nerdy persona, and his intelligence.
Joel’s only hope is to form a solid bond with Christine, and have her pull him into an alliance that she forms with some of the younger guys.
If Joel doesn’t have at least Christine looking out for him, he is toast real quick.
Also, many of these Canadian houseguests likely know of Ian Terry, and Steve Moses, both winners of Big Brother USA, and both just about as nerdy as Joel. There is very little chance of them letting Joel get anywhere near the end of the game and pull another BB win for the nerds.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: PRE JURY

10. Loveita

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

In one of the brief interviews I saw with Loveita, the very first word she used to describe herself was “vocal.” Sure, that is the word that you want to repeat over and over again during casting, but if she continues to play up the role of the “vocal independent woman” she will be in some hot water.

Loveita seems like a lovely woman, but, like Maddy, saying things like “I think I’m pretty,” as she did in her interview, will not do her any favors in the BB house. While it is exceptionally important to be confident (both in life and in the BB house,) houseguests will use any reason they can to nominate someone (especially in the first few weeks) and if other female houseguests think that you are arrogant, they will use that as the first excuse to target you.

Loveita’s vocalness will be entertaining to watch, but will ultimately get her evicted from the house.

PRE SHOW PREDICTION: Early Jury

9. Christine

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Christine seems like the typical “older” BB female houseguests that we have been seeing since the beginning of BB. But, Christine may be just edgy enough, and entertaining enough, to make it farther than many of the other forty-something women in BB history.
My suggestion for Christine is to team up with the younger guys, and be their eyes and ears. The strong guys will do anything in their power to protect her, and she could cruise to the end of the game.
This will also prevent her from having to get too girly-girly with the younger ladies of the house, which I see her having an issue with.
I predict some blow out fights with Christine and a younger female houseguests, and it is very likely that the public watching from home will be supporting Christine. If she plays smart from the get-go, she could make it very far. But, if she segregates herself early on because of her age, she could very easily be the first to go.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: If she makes friends with the younger guys right away: Final 5. If she doesn’t, she will be gone week 1-2.

8. Kelsey

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Kelsey is the complete package. She is super sexy, very likable, laid back, and easy going. She will remain drama free, which is a very good thing as a BB contestant. She will fly under the radar for quite a long time, until the houseguests realize that she is a massive threat to win the game because she is so damn perfect.
The only thing Kelsey has going against her is that she is not really a fan of the show. I do not think Kelsey is prepared to play this game anywhere close to hard enough. The pressure of the game will get to her, and she will not have it in her to deceive, backstab, or screw her friends over.
She will be voted out early jury, or maybe even pre jury, and she will not care any less. But, men all around the world will care. Very much.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: 10TH-12TH PLACE.

7. Philippe

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Philippe will be the stud of the BB house. The guys will love him, the girls will love him, and the public will love him. He seems to be an all-round lovable guy. However, being just 21 years old, Philippe will be more focused on partying and hooking up, then winning the game.
Philippe’s number 1 priority will not be getting to the end of the game, and a showmance will likely put too big of a target on his back, and send him home.
The guys will begin to think he is getting too close with his lady friend, and the ladies that are not his lady friend, will be jealous, and want him gone immediately.

Philippe will win some challenges and make some big moves before his inevitable, emotional eviction, and seperation from his “sweetheart,” whoever that may be. My prediction: Paige.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: EARLY JURY (9th place)

6. Ramsey

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Ramsey seems like a very nice, sincere, good-hearted guy. Not someone that has the ability to lie, and deceive. Unlike Kelsey, who will not care enough to lie and deceive, Ramsey will try, and be unable to lie and deceive.
Also, the fact that he doesn’t drink may prevent him from coming best buddies with the guys, and segregate him a bit.

Because he will be so likable, he should have no problem cruising to the jury portion of the game, but the houseguests will be unanimous in the fact that they need to get this awesome guy out of the house well before he has the opportunity to crush them in a final vote.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: 8TH PLACE

5. Mitchell

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Mitchell seems to be the poor man’s Kevin Martin. He will be funny, but not as funny as Kevin. He will be charming, but not as charming as Kevin. He is handsome, but not as handsome as Kevin. And he will be great at analyzing the game, but not as great as Kevin.

…. and Kevin finished in 9th place.

Mitchell could prove me wrong though. He could be great at the game if he does not annoy his houseguests. Also, Kevin was evicted during a triple eviction. If he could have made it out of the triple eviction night, who knows what magic he could have worked to win the game. It could have been possible. And it is certainly possible that Mitchell can do it too.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: EARLY JURY if he gets too cocky. Or THE WINNER.
If he is in the finals against anyone other than Jared, he will win.

4. Paige

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Paige is a perfect blend of the other 2 blonde females. She has the tenacity of Maddy, with the endearment of Kelsey. If she can use this to her advantage, she won’t be anyone’s main target for a while. Let Maddy be the bitchy blonde, and let Kelsey be the “under the radar” blonde.
If she can make it to the end with either of them, she will win the game.
Two things stand out for what I think could hurt Paige:

1. A showmance. I will be shocked if Paige does not end up in a showmance. Probably with Philippe.
2. Be a driving force behind an all-female alliance and get caught.

If she can avoid these two things, she has a very good chance at winning the season.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: LATE JURY

3. Sharry

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Sharry has a big, bold, lovable personality, and if she can tone it down just a bit, will be able to get along great with the guys and the ladies of the house.

Sharry is going into the house with the intention of listening more than speaking, and that could be the thing that separates her from the other ladies in the house that want to get their voices heard.

I expect her to remain drama free, and sail through to the jury portion of the game. If she can step up her game during the final weeks, and make a few unexpected big game moves, she could easily win.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: 3RD PLACE

2. Jared

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

Jared will be loved by everyone. He will be the bro’s bro, and the ladies man. He is so down to Earth, polite and kind that people will forget they are playing a game with him. If he is in the finals, he will demolish anyone else that is against him.

The problem will be that he will be targeted late in the game for being such a great guy. Once he doesn’t win HoH or PoV in the final weeks, he will be target #1.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: 4TH PLACE
1. Dallas

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

(photo credit: etcanada.com)

After watching Dallas for a minute or so, I already want to get a beer with him. He

will be funny, but not too funny that he annoys people. He will be a nice guy, but not too nice that you are terrified to go to the finals against him. He will be strategic, but not too strategic that he stands out as playing both sides of the house. And he will be good at the competitions, but not the absolute biggest physical, or mental threat.
He will be bros will all the guys, and will not have the added stress of falling in a showmance, as he already has a girlfriend back home. This game is Dallas’ to lose, and I do not think he is going to let that happen.

PRE SEASON PREDICTION: WINNER

Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment, or your predictions below!

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5 Songs You Need To Hear Right Now (Feb 2016)

The “5 Songs You Need To Hear Right Now” countdowns has become a staple here at Ryan’s Countdowns, and is one of the most requested countdowns that readers want to see. And who am I to deny the public of what they want? Now that you have listened to the entire Justin Bieber album for 3 straight months, it is time you expand your horizons, and get to know the 5 songs that you should not go another day without hearing.

5. Pride, American Authors


American Authors scored a top 10 spot on last year’s “Top 100 Songs of 2015” with their hit “Go Big Or Go Home”, and the boys from Boston are on track to follow that up this year with “Pride.”

I’ve had a few moments of pride so far this year, but if I had to countdown my “Proudest Moments of 2016” as of right now, learning the ultra fast, tongue twisting chorus to the American Author’s single would be at the top of the list.

The first time I heard the song, I knew that I would not let myself sleep until I was able to sing along flawlessly with one of the catchiest songs of the year. To this day, weeks later, I still give a little fist pump each time I nail the vocals. It may have taken my entire commute to and from work, but I accomplished my goal, and nobody can never, ever, ever, never, ever, take away my pride.

 

4. I Refuse, Simple Plan

In the early 2000’s no band was better at singing about teen angst than Simple Plan. Now, 15 years later, despite the guys being in their mid-thirties, they are still second to none when it comes to the schizophrenic ups and downs of teenagers.

“I Refuse,” off the bands newest album Taking One For the Team, is the epitome of teen angst. In fact, as a mid-thirties guy myself, it almost made me wish that I was an awkward, angry, confused teenager, just so I could stick up for myself when it came to other kids judging me for who I am.

“I refuse to apologize for who I am… I refuse to ever let somebody say I can’t…. I refuse, I refuse, I refuse….. to let the words you say get to me…. and I refuse… to keep on suffering silently…. I refuse, I refuse, I refuse… So I refuse. 

Not only will this song pump you up, build your confidence, and push you to stand up for what you believe in as an adult but it will also be an anthem for teenagers that have had enough of their shitty lives, and help them make positive changes. Simple Plan have long been known for saving the lives of countless teenagers who felt lost and alone, and “I Refuse,” along with much of the Team album, will no doubt do the same. For a bunch of silly Canadian guys that love speedos and skateboards, that is quite an impressive accomplishment.

3. Nobody Wins, Brian Fallon

WARNING: If you do not feel like crying your eyes out, avoid the video. You’ve been warned.

If you are familiar with Gaslight Anthem, you are already familiar with Brian Fallon, the lead singer of the band (currently on an indefinite hiatus.) I was pretty distraught when I heard that Gaslight Anthem was parting ways, but had I heard then, what I have heard now, I would have thrown the band a heartfelt goodbye party, and escorted Fallon to the studio to begin recording.
Not only is this track, “Nobody Wins,” beautifully endearing and painfully honest, but it is as good as any Gaslight Anthem song to date (and I consider myself a solid Gaslight Anthem fan).

Additionally, as if I needed additional reason to not be able to sleep until March 11th (when Fallon’s debut solo album is released), his other released tracks, “A Wonderful Life”, and “Steve McQueen” are just as good and relatable as “Nobody Wins”.

This is as much of a “must hear track” as it gets, so be among the first of your friends to share the track that is bound to be a 2016 classic, and help make Brian Fallon a household name, as it so desperately needs to be.

(SIDE NOTE: After writing this post, I went to Fallon’s website to check out his tour dates, and sure enough, he is playing in Boston on 3/11, which just so happens to be the day his album comes out. And yes, of course I instantly bought ticket).

2. Spirits, The Strumbellas

I am fairly certain that I could just attach the video, and no words would be necessary for why this is a “must hear” song. If you have heard this track already, you know how catchy it is, if you have not heard it yet… you’re welcome for introducing you to one of your favorite songs of 2016.

The Strumbellas, formed in 2008, are from Ontario, Canada, and made up of a six piece band. After 8 years, they have struck radio gold with “Spirits.” The inspiring song that reminds you to live your life to the fullest, will have you in deep thought about whether or not your are enjoying life as much as you should be. Ladies and Gentlemen, the deepest rock lyrics of 2016 so far….

“….And I don’t want a never-ending life
I just want to be alive, while i’m here.

And I, don’t want to see another night
lost inside of our own life, while i’m here.”

Me. Thinking about those lyrics. (photo credit: strangezoo.com)

Me. Thinking about those lyrics. (photo credit: strangezoo.com)

 

1. I Need Never Get Old, Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats.

(True Story: Over an hour and a half passed from when I wrote about song 2)

Why you ask? Because I have watched the above video 17 times in a row. Literally 17 times in a row. I can only remember a televised musical performance bringing me to tears one time in my life, and it just so happened to be a late-night talk show appearance of The Killers performing “A Dustland Fairytale.” It is a story about lead singer, Brandon Flower’s parents meeting, their life together, and the untimely death of his mother, who lost her battle to cancer a few years back.
I cried because of the epic performance, but I’m sure it also had to do with the touching story. So, I have cried over a musical performance ONE time. Until I watched the above video.
Jimmy Fallon’s introduction alone set the stage for the television musical performance of the year (granted, Lady Gaga’s Nation Anthem at the Superbowl was legendary.)
“These guys…. I’m telling you…… turn your TV sets up…. turn it loud. Clap. Have a party. THIS IS ROCK AND ROLL.”

The raw emotion that Rateliff exudes during the performance is so awe-inspiring that he could be singing about a razor blade getting old, and it would still make me teary-eyed.
One day, 65 years from now, when my scribe is writing down my final lists, as I lie dying, Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats’ performance of “I Need Never Get Old” will most definitely still be remembered as one of the greatest televised performance I have ever seen in my life.
Jimmy Fallon’s reaction after the performance is a sign of how epic it was. Even if you have heard the song, watch the video and the song will take on a much deeper meaning once you see what Nate and the Night Sweats put into it. WATCH THE VIDEO. Do it for me. Do it for Jimmy Fallon. Do it for Nathaniel Rateliff. Do it for the Night Sweats. But most importantly, do it for you.
And IF, for some reason you do not feel some sort of emotional response as to how epic it is, you next beer is on me when I see you out at a bar. Right after I slap you upside your head.

Leave a comment and tell me what you think of the songs. Love the? Hate them? Have a song that you want me to hear? Tell me all about it.

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11 Perfect Pranks to Pull on Your Co-Workers (Part 2)

For Part 1 of the list, and a detailed explanation of the rules click here.

6. Disrupt the Peace. (NOVICE LEVEL PRANK)

This one is mainly for the teachers out there, but if you try hard enough, I am sure you could find a way to apply it to your non-teaching job as well. This is one of the meaner pranks on the countdown, but totally acceptable as long as it is done in moderation.

When walking in the hallway on your prep period, keep your eyes peeled for a classroom that is in complete silence. If you can find one in which the class is being yelled at, or in trouble, that is even better. Here are 3 perfect examples of ways to distract the classroom learning.

A) All you have to do is pop your head in the room and ask a simple question to get the students all riled up. Try real hard to come up with something that you know will get them excited. For example, you are not going to ask them “hey, did everyone study hard for the test this afternoon?” You need to ask them something like “Who saw the Deadpool movie this weekend? (or Kung Fu Panda 3.) Obviously use your best judgement based on their age level.

B) If you are blessed to live in an area where snow is a factor in the winter months, than you know how exciting a snow day or early dismissal can be. For this prank you do not even need to go into the classroom. Simply walk by the room, and loud enough for the students to hear, say “Did you hear that we are getting out two hours early today due to the snow?” Then hang out outside the room in the hallway and listen to the chaos ensue.

C) If a class is watching a film/documentary/movie I physically can not walk by the room without going into the room and casually saying “is this the part when they all die at the end?” This is hilarious no matter what the class is watching because if they are watching a film with actual humans, they get mad and yell “YOU RUINED IT FOR US!” And if they are watching a School House Rock video, or Bill Nye, the Science Guy film, they get all angry with you and scream “IT’S NOT EVEN A FILM THAT HAS CHARACTERS IN IT, MR. J. PLUS, YOU LIED TO US IN ENGLISH CLASS LAST WEEK WHEN YOU CAME IN AND TOLD US THAT HARRY POTTER AND ALL OF HIS FRIENDS WERE GOING TO DIE AT THE END OF THE MOVIE.”
5. Make Co-Workers Laugh at Inappropriate Times (EXPERT LEVEL PRANK)

If you are a teacher, the absolute most inappropriate time to laugh is at a parent/teacher conference. If you are on a middle school team, you likely meet with parents as a group. My favorite thing about teaching is trying to make my co-workers laugh when they are trying to be serious.

This is a very dangerous prank, because you, yourself must not laugh at your own behavior, and you must be so subtle so that the parents do not catch you acting like a fool. Inside jokes are key in this process. Get to know what makes your co-workers LOL and make sure you find a way to incorporate that into the discussion.

MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF ADVICE: IF, for some reason, you are unable to control yourself, MAKE SURE you are the first person to excuse yourself from the room before you burst out laughing. Once one person leaves the room, everyone else is stranded there, and has no choice but to control themselves, or laugh in everyone’s face.

Some examples of funny things you can do: funny hand gestures, mouthing “that’s what she said” when appropriate, or pretend that you are taking notes on your computer and use iMessage to text your friends hysterical, inappropriate jokes. They are bound to check their phone at some point, and when they do, they will be unable to control themselves.

4. Lie When Asked What Someone Else’s Name Is. (NOVICE PRANK)
This could be done at any point that someone asks you someone else’s name. However, this works best when hazing new co-workers. The funniest thing to do is to lie to the new co-worker and tell them that one of your co-worker’s names is “Bob” when in fact it is “Mike.”
The more people that you get in on the prank the better. It is even best when you tell the person whose name you lied about. It is always so fun to see how long the workplace can go before the newbie realizes that there is no “Bob” in the building, and the entire workplace has been in on the joke for months.

This may seem like a prank that can only be accomplished very infrequently. But, I have mastered this prank, and successfully, notoriously pulled it off many times. When done right people will remember it for years to come, and never let the newbie live it down.

3. The Chair Steal (Moderate Level Prank)

If you have a co-worker that always loses and misplaces things, the best thing to do is to steal their chair.

The catch is……. tell everyone in the office/building that you stole the chair, and ask them to wait for an email/post/memo about the missing chair.

If you can successfully get the target of the prank to actually write an email or post a memo about their missing chair, the entire workplace will praise your success and your prank will go down in infamy.

NOTE: This does not HAVE to be a chair, but a chair is just so funny because….

a) the person will not panic about losing a personal item, such as a purse, wallet, phone, keys, etc.

b) who the hell loses their chair?

THE BEST PART OF THIS PRANK: If the memo/email is sent by the pranked co-worker, be sure to send the entire staff/faculty/workplace a follow-up email or memo accusing another co-worker of stealing the chair…. much like my email below.

Actual email sent to the faculty responding to the pranked co-worker's email about her missing chair.

Actual email sent to the faculty responding to the pranked co-worker’s email about her missing chair.

 

2. Sending an Email or Writing a Memo with Multiple Spelling Errors. (Novice Prank)

If your place of work uses email to communicate with each other (like most school districts) you will need to be a bit more sneaky with this prank. If your workplace uses a memo board or something similar, this will be a piece of cake.

EMAIL PRANK – For this, you will need to sneak on to your co-worker’s email when they are away from their computer. Like I said before, this may be difficult, but if it is possible, send a quick email to all the co-workers. This works best around the holidays, so you can send a heartfelt email to everyone. The prank isn’t just sending the email, the prank is sending the email making sure it is filled with spelling and grammatical errors.

If you use a memo board, simply write a hand-written note about anything, and spell as many words incorrectly as possible, without making it obvious that the memo is not written by the person being pranked.

Simply sign the poorly worded, misspelled note/email with your co-workers name, and voila, your prank will take off like wildfire, and you will have the whole office/workplace whispering to each other that they never knew so-and-so was such an awful speller.

See example below if you need help crafting your letter.

Stupid Email PIc

1. Disgruntled Parent/Customer Phone Call (Expert Prank)

The grand daddy of all jokes, the prank phone call, has its own very special place in the work environment. It is crucial that this joke is used very sparingly, and only used to pretend to be a disgruntled parent (or an angry customer).

It is also important that you only call the prank victim directly. You do not actually want to get your co-worker in trouble, so be sure to call their direct line.

If you are calling a co-teacher, I suggest asking your friend “why does my child not learn anything in your class.” No matter what response he or she has, just keep on saying “but why does she not learn anything in your class?”

Listening to them stumbling over their words while trying to think of a constructive, meaningful response for why their child does not learn anything, will be epic. If you are wondering what to say when they ask who you are, just try mumbling a name. This is extraordinarily helpful if you use an accent. I personally like to pretend I am an angry woman with a Spanish accent, and use a common Spanish surname that would confuse even the most organized teacher.

EXPERT TIP: Complete prank with fellow co-workers in the room and make sure you have your victim on speakerphone.