Author Archives: Ryan Jacobson

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Top 100 Songs of 2016 (Part 9) #20-11

FOR THE FIRST EIGHT LISTS CLICK BELOW.

#100 – 91       #90-81     #80-71       #70-61       #60-51
#50-41      #40-31     #30-21

20. “Still Breathing” – Green Day

“Still Breathing,” by punk rock royalty, Green Day is about looking on the bright side even when you are down on your luck. Hey, your life may completely suck, but at least you’re not dead, right?

A gambler about to lose him last dime, a soldier that dodged a bullet on the battlefield, and a mother that is barely keeping it together are three of the characters Green Day uses to tell the story of survival.

“‘Cause I’m still breathing
‘Cause I’m still breathing on my own
My head’s above the rain and roses
Making my way away”

After 30 years as a band, Green Day has proven time and time again that just because they are getting older does not mean they can’t rock just as hard as when they were kids.

 

19. “Death Of A Bachelor” – Panic! At the Disco

Brendon Urie, lead singer of Panic! At the Disco, wrote “Death of a Bachelor” as a tribute to the late great Frank Sinatra, who would have turned 100 years old in 2015 (when the song was written.) Not only is it a tribute to Sinatra, but to the end of the era that died when he did.

“His music has been a major player in the soundtrack of my life. So it’s only right that I return the favor and/or pay it forward…Death Of A Bachelor” is very important to me. It expresses the bittersweet (but mostly sweet) end of an era. A look back at a part of my life now deceased. An “It’s A Wonderful Life”-esque look into a possibly different future. But mostly an appreciation for the present.”

“Death of a Bachelor” is vastly different from anything on the radio today, a tribute that Sinatra, and the rest of his rat pack buddies would be proud of.

18. “She’s Out Of Her Mind” – Blink 182

If the video for “She’s Out Of Her Mind” doesn’t make you feel nostalgic for 1999 nothing will. In their latest track off their album California, Blink 182 recreates their infamous video for “What’s My Age Again?” in which the boys in the band run through the streets causing ruckus while completely naked. This time, the video features three beautiful woman running through the streets and mimicking Mark, Tom, and Travis’ every move.

The song is so damn catchy though, that the video only adds to the enjoyment of having Blink 182 releasing their best music in over a decade. Blink 182 for comeback of the year!

17. “Nobody Wins” – Brian Fallon

If you are a fan of Gaslight Anthem, you are already familiar with Brian Fallon, the lead singer of the band (currently on an indefinite hiatus.) I was pretty distraught when I heard that Gaslight Anthem was parting ways, but Brian Fallon’s amazing album, Painkillers, was just what I needed to kill the pain.

Not only is this track, “Nobody Wins,” beautifully endearing and painfully honest, but it can hold a candle to just about any Gaslight Anthem song. Give it a listen, you will not be disappointed. DISCLAIMER: Ryan’s Countdowns’s is not responsible for you crying and embarrassing yourself in front of your co-workers. You should have waited until you got home to watch it.

 

16. “Run Or Hide” – Run River North”

Described as a Korean-American indie folk-rock band, Run River North formed in 2011 and had their biggest hit to date with 2016’s “Run Or Hide.”

“Run Or Hide” is big, loud, and dynamic. From the first listen you will be captivated, and every time thereafter. I will never “change my mind” about how good this song is, not “a million times,” and not even once.

15. “You & I” – Colony House

“Maybe the world isn’t crazy, maybe it’s you and I” sings Colony House in the first song off their debut album “Only The Lonely,” which is set to drop in January of 2017.

“In a time in history that feels so fragile we feel like this song takes a different perspective,” says the band about the radio friendly track. Colony House has a lot to live up to in 2017, and I for one, can’t wait to see them do it.

14. “Tidal Wave” – Taking Back Sunday

Yes, Taking Back Sunday is still around, and yes, they are still releasing insanely good music. “Tidal Wave” may be a little harder than you remember the “Makedamnsure” guys being, but it is just as damn catchy as anything they have ever put out there.

“Tidal Wave” is so good that I once spent an entire 90 minute car ride listening to the song on repeat, and trying to nail all of the lyrics without messing up. After an hour and a half I had perfected the vocals, and I still couldn’t wait to sing along with it again the next day.

13. “Trouble” – Cage, the Elephant

I am convinced that Cage the Elephant can do no wrong. Year after year they continue to release hit songs. While they have a style all of their own, they still manage to make each song unique in its own right. “Trouble” is one of the slower songs from Cage in recent years, but it just goes to show you that these guys are limitless.

12. “Shovels & Dirt” – The Strumbellas

https://youtu.be/blnHBfoYBT4

Continuing their campaign for “Band of the Year,” Canadian rockers, The Strumbellas just keep getting better. “Shovels & Dirt” is one of those songs that is impossible to not love. Seriously, if someone told me they didn’t love this song I would question their hearing, taste in music, sanity and why the hell I am talking to them in the first place.

The repeating phrase of “I put a banjo up into the sky/
It keeps us moving, it keeps us moving” and the way it leads the song to its climax, is arguably one of the best parts in music this year. I am desperately looking forward to what The Strumbellas come up with in 2017.

 

11. “Better Love” – Hozier

No artist today sings with more passion that Hozier. Upon first hearing, I brushed off “Better Love” as another movie soundtrack dud. But, after each additional listen, I fell in love with the song more and more.

Bottom line is, “Better Love” is not meant to be background music, it is meant to be an experience that makes you feel so hard it hurts. And nobody does that better than Hozier.

Top 10 Songs of 2016 Coming Tomorrow!

https://open.spotify.com/user/12126658687/playlist/1V6AzGMdx1Lc0TVuAVNakV

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Ranking the Ladies of The Bachelor 21 (Part 5)

It’s almost the new year and you know what that means… New Year’s resolutions that you will keep for approximately three days, gym memberships that you will pay for and never use, big balls in New York City, and even bigger balls in one very special mansion in Agoura Hills, California. This January, those big balls belong to the Bachelor 21 star, and Bachelor alum that everyone loves to hate…. or hates to love…. or hated but now loves: Nick Viall.

Viall is no stranger to finding love on television, as this is now the fourth dating show that his handsome mug has appeared on. He finished as the runner-up in two seasons of The Bachelorette, and made it all the way to the finale in this summer’s Bachelor in Paradise.

While Viall is 36, the cast of ladies this season is littered with twenty-somethings, many of which are in their early twenties. Additionally, the cast of woman this year is by far the most diverse cast in the history of the franchise. If ABC can’t find a minority leading lady for next season’s The Bachelorette from this cast, they likely never will.

The following is a 100% SPOILER-FREE ranking of the thirty ladies in order of the least likely to most likely to win the heart of Nick, based ONLY on their ABC.com profile picture and short bio of ridiculous answers to even more ridiculous questions.

The Ladies of The Bachelor 21: I Need Some Nick In My Life

FOR PART 1, LADIES #30 – 21 CLICK HERE.
#20-16 CLICK HERE.
#15-11 CLICK HERE.
#10-6 CLICK HERE.

Continuing to the final 5……

5. Corinne

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Corinne (abc.com)

When asked if Corinne had any tattoos, her response was “Yes, but hidden and are being lasered off, so they are already faded.” My mission: to get to the bottom of what awful, embarrassing tattoos were on Corinne’s body to begin with.

Poor ink choices aside, Corinne seems to be a relatively successful 24-year-old, as she is a business owner, and likens herself to being strong and fierce, like a cheetah. I don’t see any problems on the horizon with a strong, fierce woman living with 29 other woman and dating the same guy. Corinne will be a star this season, but probably for all the wrong reasons.

4. Whitney

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Whitney (abc.com)

Whitney is an incredibly hot 25-year-old Pilates instructor from Chanhassen, MN, wherever the hell that is. If she had to be an animal, she would be an eagle so she could see the world from a different perspective. If she could be anyone else for a day, she would be Gisele Bündchen. And she lives her life with no regrets. Did I mention she is a Pilates instructor?

Whitney seems perfect. The catch, I don’t think she will be as into the process as she needs to be to make it to the end. She will be above all the drama and cattiness and Nick will mistake that for disinterest. Just looking at her picture, you can already tell she is thinking, “what the hell have I gotten myself into.” I’ll love Whitney, America will love Whitney, but sadly, Nick may feel inferior to her and send her packing back to Chanhassen. But not before a private Pilates session, of course.

3. Vanessa

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Vanessa (abc.com)

Like Whitney, Vanessa seems pretty much perfect. What concerns me most about Vanessa, however, is the fact that her biggest fear is hurting people’s feelings.

I predict that Nick will be very into Vanessa, but Vanessa will become best friends with all the girls and feel bad about getting Nick’s attention and bow out. She is a special education teacher, so she is used to putting other people’s needs above hers. She will be able to come across as a role model to all young girls across the country that should absolutely not be watching The Bachelor, while still standing up for what she believes is right. If ABC decides they don’t care if they look racist by not having a minority as the next Bachelorette, and if Nick is stupid enough to let her go, expect Vanessa to be the next Bachelorette in May. And if that’s the case, expect a 2 month-long hiatus from Ryan’s Countdowns when I am trying to break into the Bachelorette 13 mansion.

2. Sarah

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Sarah (abc.com)

Sarah seems like the most real, genuine girl in the bunch. She is super sexy, adventurous (she moved to NYC with just 3 bucks, 2 bags, and 1 her,) and she loves to gamble. And I love a girl who loves to gamble.

I’m assuming her answer to the question “what animal would you be” is some type of attempt at humor, because she say “Puppy! Or, if you’re a bird, I’m a bird right? :)” I don’t know what the hell that means, but I guess that it is some sort of witty reference to something girly.

Fine, I Googled it and I was right. It, of course, is a reference to The Notebook. How, the hell, did I know.

Anyway, Sarah is my pick for the coolest girl in the bunch, and if Nick doesn’t choose her, expect her to be tearing it up on Bachelor in Paradise this summer.

1. Kristina

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Kristina. (abc.com)

My season 21 winner pick belongs to the 24-year-old orphan turned Dental Hygienist, Kristina. Abandoned at a young age by her alcoholic biological mother, it is her adoptive parents that Kristina admires most in the world.

She is not afraid of aging, because “aging is a beautiful thing.”  I think I can speak for everyone when I say, speak for yourself, Kristina.

One of the things that stuck out to me most about Kristina is that her favorite actor is Meryl Streep. Not Hannah Montana, or Britney Spears in Crossroads, or the lady that played the voice of The Little Mermaid; an actual, well-respected, iconic actress. Good for you, Kristina. I hope you and Nick live happily ever after and have a house full of obnoxiously beautiful, charismatic, perfect children.

 

Upon further research, if Kristina could be any fictional character of all time she would be Fiona from Shrek. Not Lady Macbeth, or Jane Eyre, or Scarlett O’Hara, or Daenerys Targaryen, or Nancy Drew, or Athena, or Aphrodite, or Mary Friggin’ Poppins. Fiona, from Shrek. Can somebody please tell these ladies that fictional does not necessarily translate to animated. I give up.

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Ranking All 30 Bachelor 21 Contestants (Part 4) 10-6

It’s almost the new year and you know what that means… New Year’s resolutions that you will keep for approximately three days, gym memberships that you will pay for and never use, big balls in New York City, and even bigger balls in one very special mansion in Agoura Hills, California. This January, those big balls belong to the Bachelor 21 star, and Bachelor alum that everyone loves to hate…. or hates to love…. or hated but now loves: Nick Viall.

Viall is no stranger to finding love on television, as this is now the fourth dating show that his handsome mug has appeared on. He finished as the runner up in two seasons of The Bachelorette, and made it all the way to the finale in this summer’s Bachelor in Paradise.

While Viall is 36, the cast of ladies this season is littered with twenty-somethings, many of which are in their early twenties. Additionally, the cast of woman this year is by far the most diverse cast in the history of the franchise. If ABC can’t find a minority leading lady for next season’s The Bachelorette from this cast, they likely never will.

The following is a 100% SPOILER-FREE ranking of the thirty ladies in order of the least likely to most likely to win the heart of Nick, based ONLY on their ABC.com profile picture and short bio of ridiculous answers to even more ridiculous questions.

The Ladies of The Bachelor 21: I Need Some Nick In My Life

 

FOR PART 1, LADIES #30 – 21 CLICK HERE.
LADIES #20-16 CLICK HERE.
LADIES #15-11 CLICK HERE.

Continuing….

10. Lacey

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Lacey (abc.com)

 

Lacey seems like a very well educated, well-rounded woman. She graduated with a double degree (she does not mention what degrees, so technically it could be basket weaving and juggling, so take it with a grain of salt) and she is learning Arabic. Also, when asked what three people she would have lunch with, she choose three of the greatest minds the world has ever known.

  1. William Shakespeare – The English poet and author widely regarded as the greatest writer in history.
  2. JK Rowling – The author and genius behind the greatest selling book series of all time, Harry Potter. 
  3. Joe Jonas – American singer and actor who is responsible for critically acclaimed, groundbreaking roles such as “Himself” in Hannah Montana, and Shane Gray in Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam. 

While Lacey seems to have the brains and the beauty to go all the way, it may be her jealousy that sends her packing, as her biggest date fear is when “he’s going on another date right after” which she follows by telling us (that has happened before).

Expect Lacey to make it mid season, and after she has an epic meltdown because Nick is going on a one-on-one with the same girl he already went on a one-on-one with in week two, yet she still has not had a one-on-one, will be pulled aside by Nick and shown the door in the most dramatic moment of the season.

 

9. Danielle M

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Danielle M (abc.com)

 

There is a law in Louisiana or Tennessee that says that you can’t eat ice cream on the side of the road, “or something like that” and that really pisses Danielle M right the hell off. So much so, that if Danielle M could break any law with no repercussions, that would be it, according to her abc.com bio. ABC and the producers of the Bachelor just wanted to make sure that we were given that riveting information about Danielle M.

Perhaps more interestingly is the fact that if Danielle M could be any fictional character she would be Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series because “she’s a smart, clever, beautiful witch.” That is actually a great answer. But what I am most impressed with is the fact that Danielle M understands that a “fictional character” is not limited to Disney princesses. It could possibly be due to the fact that she is 31 years old, which compared to 85% of the cast, is considered elderly.

Not that any of this information about Danielle M matters though because Danielle M had a fiancé that passed away. So the ONLY thing we will get to know about Danielle M is that she had a fiancé that passed away. There is nothing ABC loves more than a dead fiancé and they will soak that shit up for every last drop until Danielle M is eliminated in Nick’s “most difficult Rose ceremony to date.”

 

8. Lauren

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Lauren (abc.com)

 

Things that make Lauren perfect:

  • She is super sexy
  • She is a law school graduate
  • Lauren loves mini golf
  • She wants to be a dolphin, but did not need to make one single reference to The Little Mermaid to get her point across.
  • She gives 100% in relationships to make them fun and adventurous.
  • In 5 years she wants to be happily married with kids and in a house full of laughter.
  • She loves Step Brothers
  • The 5 things she can’t live without are “My super soft vintage Hall & Oates t-shirt, chapstick, my family, sushi, music”

It would be way too easy to say Lauren is going to win, plus she deserves someone better than perfect Nick. Like somebody that runs their own website and makes countdowns about pop culture.

7. Angela

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Angela (abc.com)

 

In five years, Angela wants to be a stay at home mom. Yeah, me too Angela. Also, if Angela never had to ________ she would be very happy. So what it is that Angela never wants to do again? The dreaded act of driving herself. Angela is also a model, so we know she will be thrown into the “here for the right reasons” spotlight, which is never a good thing.

Also, her worst date memory is when a guy wrote down “Batman” while they waited for a table. Unless they were eating at Le Meurice, in Paris, France, that is kind of funny Angela. Take a chill pill, please.

Le Meurice, party of 2 for Batman and buzzkill. (the guardian.com)

 

6. Rachel

Bachelor 21 Contestant, Rachel (abc.com)

 

Rachel is ranked at #6 not because she can’t win, but because ABC will have plans on using her as the next Bachelorette, making her the first minority leading lady or man in Bachelor franchise history.

A beautiful, successful attorney, Rachel is what ABC has been waiting for to prove they are not racist, and they will do everything in their power to prep her for The Bachelorette 13. Sorry Nick, Rachel may be single, but ABC has their eyes on her, and it is unlikely they will let her go.

For the Top 5 Ladies – Click Here.